Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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