The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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