I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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