there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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