Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
