no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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