She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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