also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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