we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
