Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
