end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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