I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
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Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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