A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
