it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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