i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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