I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
