I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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