Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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