Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
