we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sext me about skeletons
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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