he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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