arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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