Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
