I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
