Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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