If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I miss vodka workout Fridays
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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