This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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