I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
