gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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