Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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