The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
