Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
