At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
