Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
