You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
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Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.