Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep