I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Apparently you make a good broom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.