am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho