Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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