I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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