Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
id be glad to
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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