Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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