I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
