Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
