I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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