Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize