in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
