Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
