I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
