Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
