at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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