It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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