she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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