Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
