69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
