Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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