He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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