nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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