I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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