my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"