Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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  (630): oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican. (310): ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated. http://tfl.nu/5wsv
  Replies (12) Good night (572) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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  (619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64
  Replies (59) Good night (986) Bad night (3680)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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  (660): I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point http://tfl.nu/7cy0
  Replies (30) Good night (887) Bad night (4382)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy

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  (803): I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy http://tfl.nu/vzq5
  Replies (11) Good night (5164) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.

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  (309): My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead. http://tfl.nu/49y2
  Replies (14) Good night (1436) Bad night (5210)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  What do you think it is?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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  (214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4
  Replies (12) Good night (5042) Bad night (1566)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  ...oh my god that's like anal suicide

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

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  (260): ...oh my god that's like anal suicide (1-260): I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak. http://tfl.nu/xgzk
  Replies (9) Good night (623) Bad night (1743)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

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  (773): Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important. http://tfl.nu/scnm
  Replies (3) Good night (1290) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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  (859): I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms! http://tfl.nu/ase3
  Replies (4) Good night (1382) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview

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  (850): No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview http://tfl.nu/suz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude

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  (724): Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude http://tfl.nu/f4au
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?

  (360): View more from Washington

  What are you gonna do about it?

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  (206): Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king? (360): What are you gonna do about it? http://tfl.nu/zg4q
  Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.

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  (512): The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know. http://tfl.nu/ghx8
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways

  (425): View more from Washington

  so just a regular conversation then

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  (412): It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways (425): so just a regular conversation then http://tfl.nu/ie13
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (183)

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