Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
