the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
