That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
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who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
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I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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