Don't you send me to vm
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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