I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
