I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
