Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
