I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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