So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i now understand why vodka
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
