I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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